The Worst Drug Dealing Horror Story I’ve Ever Heard

“He jumped out of the second floor window and broke one of his arms and legs.”

Simon Doherty
4 min readMar 10, 2021


Photo taken by the author in 2015

The cottage industry that is student dealing flourished around 2008; partly as a result of a decline in academic values within many British universities and partly due to the arrival of the student-favoured cheap stimulant mephedrone.

By 2009, reports began to surface claiming that some people actually enrol on university courses with the sole purpose of selling drugs — the student loan serves nicely as a start-up fund. By 2014, I think everyone had to admit that casual dealing amongst students had become commonplace.

I spoke with Peter*, he’s a 24-year-old Londoner who went to university in Nottingham. He is an old-skool smoker; we all know at least one. He favours bongs over vaping, his baggy jeans are littered with crevices produced by hot rocks — marking him out as a long-term habitual user — and he will definitely steal your lighter.

In Nottingham, he spent half a decade as a successful mid-level university weed dealer, during which time he supplied an immeasurable number of students with their evening smoke.

Peter begins the interview by informing me that he has “moved away and knocked it all on the head now” adding that he still has “nightmares about getting robbed”. I asked him to share his most harrowing experiences.

“I knew the guy, I’d sold weed to him before. He came round, knocked on the door and said he was going to come in and smoke a spliff. Then he just got a gun out and said “get your weed”. He only got 11gs, that’s all I had at the time. I didn’t want to get the police involved because I was too scared, but my girlfriend did. So the next day we rang the police.

“He jumped out of the second floor window and broke one of his arms and legs. It was pointless because the…



Simon Doherty

I’m a London-based writer and this is my blog. You can read my VICE articles here: