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Simon Doherty
Simon Doherty

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Published in The Startup

·Pinned

How I Became An Art Smuggler

Gerard Dureux was a paranoid, reclusive painter and sculptor whose collection has been smuggled to the UK by his son — The sun is barely visible on the grey skyline and I’m battling fierce wind as I move through the streets of the post-industrial wasteland near the centre of Leeds, UK. …

Art

6 min read

How I Became An Art Smuggler
How I Became An Art Smuggler
Art

6 min read


Oct 13, 2021

A Guide for Incels Who Want to Have Sex

Are you an incel looking to hook up? This guide is for you. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect women. Respect…

Society

2 min read

A Guide for Incels Who Want to Have Sex
A Guide for Incels Who Want to Have Sex
Society

2 min read


Jul 14, 2021

Pranking the Police With ‘The Flying Spliff™’

Here’s what happens if you tie a spliff to a balloon, smoke it in front of the police and release the evidence to fly away in an attempt to m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶n̶n̶y̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶e̶n̶t, t̶h̶w̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶r̶a̶c̶o̶n̶i̶a̶n̶ ̶d̶r̶u̶g̶ ̶l̶a̶w̶s, deliver an important social experiment. I’ve always thought that the drug laws…

Life

9 min read

Pranking the Police With ‘The Flying Spliff™’
Pranking the Police With ‘The Flying Spliff™’
Life

9 min read


Published in Rock n’ Heavy

·Jul 3, 2021

The Crazy Things I’ve Seen at Croatian Festivals

“With the driver powerless to halt him, his nonsensical drivel continues until he halts himself –by falling into the aisle and proceeding to vomit and piss himself.” — A dishevelled Geordie, who looks like he’s drunk his own body weight in beer, is standing at the front of the vehicle, mic in hand, alternating between telling the same joke over and over and just plain screaming. …

Music

4 min read

The Crazy Things I’ve Seen at Croatian Festivals
The Crazy Things I’ve Seen at Croatian Festivals
Music

4 min read


Published in The Startup

·Apr 26, 2021

I Asked The Foreign Office, The Ministry Of Defence, and The Home Office If Linda COULD Destroy ISIS

It all started in January 2014. A middle-aged American, by the name of Linda Glocke, made a strong commitment to defeat ISIS in an online comment. So strong, in fact, that the internet vowed to follow Linda on her one woman crusade against the caliphate. The comment — which was…

Life

5 min read

I Asked The Foreign Office and Ministry Of Defence, If Linda COULD Destroy ISIS
I Asked The Foreign Office and Ministry Of Defence, If Linda COULD Destroy ISIS
Life

5 min read


Published in The Writing Cooperative

·Mar 15, 2021

6 Ways to Prepare for a Freelance Journalism Career in 2021

You’re working in the Wild West now (the internet) forget about writing shorthand — Journalism has changed. If you’re a young person thinking of pursuing this as a career, you need to know that you’re working in the Wild West now (the internet). It’s fast-paced, there are few rules and those few change all the time. You’re better off getting clued up on social…

Writing

6 min read

6 Ways to Prepare for a Freelance Journalism Career in 2021
6 Ways to Prepare for a Freelance Journalism Career in 2021
Writing

6 min read


Mar 10, 2021

The Worst Drug Dealing Horror Story I’ve Ever Heard

“He jumped out of the second floor window and broke one of his arms and legs.” — The cottage industry that is student dealing flourished around 2008; partly as a result of a decline in academic values within many British universities and partly due to the arrival of the student-favoured cheap stimulant mephedrone. By 2009, reports began to surface claiming that some people actually enrol on university…

Life

4 min read

The Worst Drug Dealing Horror Story I’ve Ever Heard
The Worst Drug Dealing Horror Story I’ve Ever Heard
Life

4 min read


Published in ILLUMINATION

·Mar 7, 2021

What Working With David Bowie Taught Me About Imperfection

Ken Scott worked with some iconic artists — including The Beatles, David Bowie and Duran Duran — and he learned a valuable lesson from them — “Great creativity comes from mistakes,” says Ken Scott, legendary engineer of The Beatles and producer of David Bowie. “That’s the way it should be.” Regarded by many as one of the most significant recording industry figures in the past five decades, Scott worked with some of the biggest artists ever…

Music

5 min read

What Working with David Bowie Taught Me about Imperfection
What Working with David Bowie Taught Me about Imperfection
Music

5 min read


Published in ILLUMINATION

·Mar 2, 2021

Your Smartphone Doesn’t Belong to You

It belongs to the advertisers and tech companies exploiting you — I remember the moment that I realised that I don’t want to own a smartphone. It was 11AM on a Monday morning, everything was falling apart and I was stood outside an abandoned building that used to be a double-glazed window storage unit. …

Tech

5 min read

Your Smartphone Doesn’t Belong to You
Your Smartphone Doesn’t Belong to You
Tech

5 min read


Mar 1, 2021

What She Means When She Says “Don’t Stop”
6.1K
27

Emma Austin

It's because of porn, that's how they depict female orgasam there.

It's because of porn, that's how they depict female orgasam there.

1 min read

1 min read

Simon Doherty

Simon Doherty

2.8K Followers

I’m a London-based writer and this is my blog. You can read my VICE articles here: https://www.vice.com/en/contributor/simon-doherty

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